Devious Journal Entry

Put your life on the line, for one time in your life, you've never felt more alive, treading a fine line, both eyes transfixed on a deathly barrel, not much to separate reality from non existence, a spring and a pin on a hair trigger trained on your temple, scream to your family and friends, remind them that everything they see and hear is a culmination of their actions, every drop of blood, every drop of sweat and every chipped tooth and blackened eye should be a reminder of their transgression, I don't mean to say you did this to me, but you helped inflict me, you've freed my spirit of such weight, I can tell this is real, I know it is, I prayed for my entire life that a day like this would never be feigned, the flavor of the seconds is savory and icy, like exhaling a blizzard, I'm thrilled that for once in my life you're looking at me and bawling your eyes out, perhaps I've worn thin from listening to you for days stacked on end and now for once in my life in this exhalted silence you're finally listening to me, I may not be speaking, but since I can remember, I have your undivided attention and of course the only time I could achieve such power is during the moments where time has been reduced to a howling crawl, every tear and word so significant, their quiet utterance, begging and pleading, appeasing and apologizing, yet as it seems, such a gratuitious scene for myself, for once, to be selfish though now it seems useless, the one time you decide to not endlessly prattle on about yourself, I'm standing here on the verge and you've nothing left to say.